all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
