I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
