Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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