Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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