So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you guys were way drunker than both of me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
