No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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