so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
