Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hippo gnu deer
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
