Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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