My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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