i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
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