That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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