i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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