She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
