Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
