so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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