I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
