all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
