69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
