he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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