Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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