I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
