I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
