Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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