why didn't you poke me back
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
