nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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