So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
