Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
