I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
