Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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