I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
...so i touched it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
