he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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