I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
