she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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