I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I understand Curling. That high.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
