They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
