My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
