so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Your mouth is God's brothel.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
