The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
