and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
