I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
