how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
