i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
