so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I FOUND THE LEGS
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
