eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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