This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
