Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
