my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
