i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
