I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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