I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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