I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
