Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
