i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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