Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
