I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
