Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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