you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
