3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
soo... how was my night?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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