C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Two words: nipple clamps
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